A Big Red Suit, and A Big Red Nose (And I don't mean Rudolph)

*Melissa*

There is just something so WRONG about wandering the shops, seeing flashing mechanical Santa rotating around with his arm waving at you, shuffling through boxed cards with snowmen, glitter, and furry reindeers gracing their covers, and seeing Christmas pines lit up at K-Mart. Here I am wandering the shops in flip-flops, shorts, and tank tops, gawking at the youngsters with their bum cheeks hanging out of their shorty-shorts and the boys not far behind, and I’m passing lit up wreaths and plex-glass snowmen while Jingle-Bells blares from every speaker. This just doesn’t feel right. Wasn’t there another holiday coming up anyways? Something involving Turkeys and pigging out on food like we’ve been in famine for the past 9 months or something?

Last weekend officially kicked off the “Christmas season” here in Adelaide, with the HUGE annual “Credit Union Christmas Pagent” – the equivalent of the Macy’s parade for New York… although I’m pretty sure that has to do with another holiday, too, doesn’t it? We were told by many that it was the “Event of the year” – aside from “The Show” (Adelaide’s “State Fair”) and WOMAdelaide (a mini-Woodstock) and that we needed to go. Reluctantly, we decided to take it in to consideration since “we may never have the opportunity again”, and when the paper arrived the night before, we sought out the details.

I was a bit dumbfounded to see the pamphlet for The Pagent decorated with clowns – the theme for the year was: “Celebrate the Clown Within”, and they were asking everyone who came to wear a red clown nose to try and break the world record for, what else? Most people gathered in one place wearing clown noses! (Don’t believe me? Check it out at: cupagent.com.au!) The inner pages were decorated with fairies and flowers (and more clowns) and warning people that they should have their spot along the parade route reserved by 4:30 am. The roads to the city would be closed off by 6 am, and the expected attendance was 350,000 people. I nearly choked. When we examined the photos from last years event, and realized a hefty portion of those in attendance would be under the age of 10, we decided we couldn’t be bothered. We slept in the next morning until 9 instead.

This weekend (the 5^th one before Christmas!!) Chad and I were blind-sided by the arrival of the “Radiographer’s Christmas Party”. It snuck up on us rather quickly! We braved the Marion Shopping Centre (our ‘Mall’) in search of a casual dress shirt for Chad, and were in awe and the hoards of people scrambling, screaming, scowling, and dragging their children through the shops. Chad made a comment about how miserable everyone looked, and I told him my secret of staring at a point above the crowds in order to keep my anxiety from overtaking me in the swarms. The high point was when I overheard a woman complaining that one of the small stores we all happened to be in wasn’t playing Christmas music.

That afternoon, we got cleaned up, and I slipped in to one of the summer dresses that has been stashed in the closet for almost a year because it was always so cold in Klamath Falls. I slid my toes into a pair of open-toed, backless heels, and Chad and I climbed into our co-worker’s car to head to the Pub the party was at. It was when we were all rolling the windows down to let in the cooler air that oddness of it hit me again – Christmas in Summer. In shorts. Hearing “White Christmas” playing over a radio.

I have always wanted to experience this – a “tropical” summer Christmas. Chad’s always dreamed about a palm-Christmas-tree, decorated with colored lights. But I can’t help but feel like something is missing. Christmas the world over is simply a “winter holiday” – you can’t argue that snowmen, reindeer, and a Santa Suit are the icons of the season, and they just don’t work in the Southern Hemisphere! Maybe it really is just all about what you grew up with, and maybe that’s why Adelaide has turned to clowns and fairies - to help them balance the snowy hymns and décor. As for me, though? I can’t help but wonder if I could ever get used to this. Where’s my Turkey dinner? Where’s my Black Friday ads that we stay up till midnight looking at on Tome and Gordon’s couch, trying to convince ourselves we should battle the crowds a few hours later? Where’s the annual whinging of picking out our Christmas tree with the snow flakes flying and trying to fit it on top of the old KIA? The stockings, and pile of Christmas presents growing under the tree…

This year we will definitely see how the other half of the world does it, and what this “Mele Kalikimaka” business is all about!